“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
— Abraham Lincoln
Seniors, has your mirror become an obstacle to maintaining your confidence? Do you get shocking pains if someone shakes your hand too tightly? Are you having a difficult time keeping up with your dog? Do you have a fear of old age? Afterall, whose idea is it that I be old?
When you think about growing older, what comes to mind? For many, it is fear. Possibly fear of losing everything you value. It’s hard to give that up.
Why is this?
Usually, it is because we see life as purely physical. We are born, quickly grow and learn, and peak physically by the time we are in our 20s. Then we begin the slow physical decline for the rest of our lives. That can be scary. It’s what happens during those years that can also be joyful.
My siblings and I were brought up “simply” to live life to its fullest. I remember as a small child waking up in the morning excited about what the new day would bring. I never thought about getting into fights with my brother or having to take vitamins before leaving for school. Everything was a new thrilling adventure!
With age come more adventures than we can imagine. With those adventures come experience, wisdom and responsibilities. Some experience the gift of having children and eventually grandchildren. There’s no way around gaining wisdom and responsibility there! Some are overwhelmed with the happiness, challenges and friends their work has brought them. And now, for some, those ambitions are waning with time.
As each new day passes, we seniors must endeavor to keep our wits about us. Easier said than done! Life often brings experiences we can’t anticipate. Because of the many years behind us, we are able to move forward as our brain’s computer assesses, diagnoses and determines the best solutions for whatever comes our way. We’ve done this for so long that our resiliency, our ability to face adversity and happiness and to assimilate what’s happened, helps us to rebalance ourselves.
Some of the most common fears about aging revolve around losing independence and control over our lives. We may fear losing physical and cognitive abilities such as driving, bathing, managing finances, and cooking. Our health is a big chunk of our fears because as we age, we are more likely to experience chronic health conditions. These conditions hold the threat of pain, disability, even death.
These fears are common, but they can be managed.
Dr. Marc Agronin, a geriatric psychiatrist, wrote an interesting book on aging called, “The End of Old Age.” A key theme is that aging brings strengths.
He says,
“As we get older and experience a great variety of things, including adversity and loss, we continue to develop and mature in terms of how we view the world. We tend to be better able to weigh competing points of view and find ways to understand and accept them.
“We also tend to be less emotionally reactive as the connections between the brain’s fear center, our amygdala, and our frontal lobe become richer and more developed. We’re better able to reflect upon our experiences. And we tend to use more parts of our brain simultaneously when dealing with problems, so there’s greater synergy.”
Put all this together and it adds up to wisdom — a key strength of aging.
When I was young, the world was full of awesome and new adventures. Now that I’m old (and I am old!), my premonitions of what is to come, should I choose this path or that, are usually right on target. Yet, when I go down an unknown path all alone, or with someone else by my side, the curiosity of what is to come can still make my heart jump an extra (healthy!) beat.
I believe that in acceptance, there is peace. I do believe that this may be the key to joy.
Need some help with that? For more information, contact Youthful Aging Home Care.
Lani Kelly is a research writer for Youthful Aging Home Care.
